Though her health was her top priority, Marie knew that missing the wedding could undermine her in her battle against the cancer. After much consideration, Marie approached her oncologist about delaying the surgery until after the wedding and, to her relief, her doctor said the delay would be reasonable. Marie attended the ceremony and, at the Sunday brunch following the wedding, had an impromptu ritual of her own.

With her loved ones present, Marie knew she had a unique opportunity to begin to prepare herself for the challenging path to recovery that lay ahead. As she got up on a round banquet table, she asked everyone to gather around and lay their hands on her so that she could take in the love and positive energy that would ultimately give her the strength to regain her health.  Marie was amazed at the power that she felt, and believed it gave her fuel for the trials ahead.

Following a successful surgery, Marie underwent both chemo and radiation therapy. In November 2005 Marie completed the physical portion of her treatment.  For the previous six months she had been primarily focused on her physical wellbeing; now, free from that burden, she began to more fully experience the emotional and psychological effects of her illness.  Her feelings were strong and often opposed in nature, as she simultaneously experienced strong fears of recurrence and an overwhelming love for those close to her.

In early January Marie was faced with a recurrence scare. She was informed that abnormal glandular cells had been found in her most recent follow-up test, and that she would need to undergo biopsies in early February.  The shock of this news seemed in some ways worse than that of her original diagnosis, as she couldn’t understand how cancer could still be present after the extensive treatment she had undergone. She felt she was facing death more closely than she had when she was originally diagnosed, and became burdened with grief and anxiety.  Though Marie’s tests returned negative, her anxiety persisted and led her to refocus her efforts on improving her emotional and psychological health.

In her search for wellness and peace, Marie has chosen to reach out to others who have also been diagnosed with cancer by serving as a volunteer peer supporter through the UCSF Cancer Resource Center. She has also taken measures to improve her health, such as meeting with a nutritionist, returning to her yoga practice, working with a therapist, gardening, listening to wellness CDs, and joining a writing group. 

It was through an initial outpouring of love that Marie received the strength to endure her treatment, and it is through her own love for herself and others that she will be well and enhance the lives of many others.